When I become Emperor…
Status Tweet Datetime
see tweet @georgie @YodelOnline public transport would be my first thing to nationalise. #wibe 2018-08-17 20:54:26
see tweet #wibe 2018-07-28 18:09:37
see tweet Send in a judge or retired law lord. #wibe https://t.co/a0eJ3rLkat 2018-05-03 08:56:27
see tweet #WIBE 2018-02-15 20:09:03
see tweet @sharonodea #wibe… :P 2017-12-22 13:54:03
see tweet #wibe extended diddling around on one's phone whilst walking will be punishable. 2017-12-21 09:47:00
see tweet @inthecompanyof When I become emperor… #wibe 2017-10-23 18:43:57
see tweet #wibe people entering tube stations will be sprayed with febreeze to counter stale bo and stale weed stenches. 2017-10-09 14:53:04
see tweet you voted for brexit. you can't use the epassport gates. go see the lovely border people. #wibe 2017-06-16 22:34:56
see tweet @jaggeree well, that's what I'd do #wibe 2017-05-08 08:36:24
see tweet @guy_herbert that's odd. I'd reclassify that, were i emperor. #wibe 2017-03-23 09:18:20
see tweet ugh. train home with that hideous stench of station pie shop meat filling the carriage. they'd be banned, #wibe 2017-03-16 23:27:15
see tweet @marksimpkins there should be drill practice for commuters. #wibe 2017-02-06 09:37:43
see tweet @CSWDepEd #wibe that'd change ;) 2016-12-21 18:57:10
see tweet #wibe that'd go. Who wants to store things unnecessarily. Especially when it's already arrived IN EUROPE so shouldn't matter. 2016-12-08 12:54:15
see tweet @jaggeree @sharonodea @megpickard They're on my outlawing list #WIBE. Ghastly things. There's no need for them (esp in urban areas). 2016-11-21 09:06:30
see tweet Were I on the Bench, and hearing the Article50 appeal, I’d consider reporting restrictions after the lamentable coverage yesterday #wibe 2016-11-04 12:14:31
see tweet #wibe xenophobia will be unlawful. 2016-08-25 10:34:31
see tweet Oh look, more shit from the Daily Vitriol. #wibe an Examiner will be reintroduced, and Leveson recommendations will be implemented. 2016-08-11 10:52:29
see tweet obvs, #WIBE, that zebra crossing would be de-listed… https://t.co/Eft7hvUwxG 2016-06-07 10:00:54
see tweet Why isn’t Lady Grey tea called Countess Grey tea (as befits the wife of an earl)? #wibe 2016-05-16 19:33:15
see tweet @zefrog elections are a bit of a mess. funding, campaigning, voting systems, law, challenging results/action, lack of ousting/removing #wibe 2016-05-13 10:04:01
see tweet @Suw along with all the changes, as requested by whom… #wibe 2016-03-22 15:51:29
see tweet We really should have redundancy in the shape of SIGNALLING BOXES and people. It really is a nonsense. #wibe https://t.co/rKSV103X3z 2016-03-03 13:28:40
see tweet @Suw #WIBE there will be Mandatory Jaspers… https://t.co/cg7fE4sVAX 2016-03-01 13:09:11
see tweet @nuxnix frozen, but not reduced… #WIBE ticket prices would be linked to median weekly regional earnings, so they're affordable. 2016-02-10 19:27:58
see tweet #WIBE… https://t.co/VnfXRSwx5X 2016-02-10 13:33:43
see tweet #WIBE, All newspaper websites within my dominions will be prohibited from having comments. 2015-12-15 14:04:44
see tweet @dominiccampbell When we have representative democracy, power not in the hands of the whips, fewer machoMPs, or when I become Emperor. #wibe 2015-11-30 13:14:07
see tweet #wibe https://t.co/xrVJ74eqIL 2015-10-26 19:25:36
see tweet I'd get rid of 'em. #wibe . Back to old fashioned banking, credit unions, etc. Never seen the point of 'em. https://t.co/6EgaI4zZBA 2015-10-09 13:26:06
see tweet @marksimpkins @adrianshort #wibe, that will be the replacement citizen test. A set of practical examples observing during various situations 2015-08-17 13:23:10
see tweet (of course, #wibe, those whom poorly style themselves will forfeit theirs, especially obvious with new Lifers) 2015-07-28 13:10:37
see tweet Not done one of these for a while: #WIBE Taleo will be annihilated. Horrible UI. 2015-07-27 14:16:25
see tweet #wibe "Withheld numbers" will cease to exist. 2015-06-03 12:44:59
see tweet I'd require the developers to rebuild the pub as it was — at their expense — on top of any other damages. #wibe http://t.co/agcKh9KO6F 2015-04-10 17:24:31
see tweet #wibe it will be mandated that no person may in crowded spaces carry on their person bags etc wider than the person's appendage esp shoulder 2014-11-12 10:07:35
see tweet “@copwatcher: Important post by @policemonitor: Protest treated as anti-social behaviour http://t.co/sxswYs5cFW” //one for repealing #wibe 2013-05-01 21:31:28
see tweet @stefness emptied a bit now. in my Empire trains will have heat sensors fed to on-platform displays to help chose carriage #wibe. 2013-04-29 08:32:42
see tweet @henrycole third class really should be reintroduced #wibe 2013-04-26 17:36:47
see tweet One day, I shall write my Act of Oblivion. That will be my manifesto for #wibe 2013-04-16 09:22:44
see tweet @kcorrick @MadProf the Fat Controller :P Everyone knows that. #wibe. 2013-02-01 13:19:23
see tweet fucksake. There won't be ANY hospitals left within a 25mi' radius I don't think. Thanks Governments of the last 35 years. #wibe 2013-01-31 12:05:33
see tweet @owenblacker iirc, the barriers at woking have oystercard readers and connectivity. just mess of the TOCs, i think. #renationalization #wibe 2013-01-29 09:11:45
see tweet @ketmonkey "you want to travel to a london terminal? you need an oysterscard" #wibe 2013-01-29 08:49:39
see tweet "a harem of castrati regulators". #newcollectivenoun for inept regulators; #wibe 2013-01-29 08:36:43
see tweet @nevali fear the new order! #wibe 2013-01-28 23:42:36
see tweet @His_Grace Well, quite. It needs replacing. #wibe 2013-01-28 22:28:19
see tweet @dominiccampbell #wibe might work, too :-) 2013-01-25 19:04:15
see tweet @SW_Trains @BenNunney throw hot men and kittens around... #wibe ;o) 2013-01-21 10:02:11
see tweet #wibe Newspaper headlines must not be sensalationalist and must be clear; esp on Criminal Justice and releases under license. 2013-01-16 09:02:55
see tweet #wibe it will be an Obligation to garrotte people talking during High Culture performances 2013-01-03 22:59:47
see tweet #wibe it will be an Obligation to break the devices of people usibg them during high culture performances. no insurance will be available 2013-01-03 22:59:46
see tweet @felix_cohen slight win. fucking chelsea tractors. #wibe they’d be banished to the Countryside where there’s a need. mini for others. 2012-12-20 17:03:28
see tweet @dominiccampbell one day i'll write a twitter interceptor/plugin to remove them from my stream... off the web #wibe 2012-12-11 21:38:21
see tweet fab. there's a man who looks like Ron Moody's Fagin on this bus. #reviewingthesituation. more Fagins on buses #wibe (and seats on the 521) 2012-12-11 10:10:35
see tweet @leighblue do they all babies in coach b? Only when they’re not screaming. or inquisitive high-pitched toddlers? #wibe 2012-12-11 09:37:04
see tweet barriers. the stop ambulances getting to the platform. another reason to hate them. #wibe 2012-11-24 23:48:25
see tweet oyster should be sensible enough to not charge peak rates when the train's delayed. that might teach 'em. #wibe http://t.co/ETN8dE4V 2012-11-20 09:56:16
see tweet @gallaghereditor @AllisterHeath @danielsimmonds if it can’t be explained in a flowchart, it’s too complicated #wibe 2012-11-14 09:25:43
see tweet Anger levels rising... time for a blog post laying out the #moronicity of a newspaper article #wibe 2012-10-25 09:33:29
see tweet #wibe Life Peers who don't properly style themselves (and allow others to mis-style themselves) will cease being a Life Peer. #notdifficult 2012-10-19 12:17:02
see tweet @RTaylorUK "want to trade in the UK? pay your taxes, else, off you go. Here's an Act expelling you, with no compensation". #wibe 2012-10-16 22:13:15
see tweet what is it with public officials thinking they have a choice but to "fully co-operate" with competent/empowered authorities? #wibe 2012-09-26 09:36:38
see tweet @Alby sell that, give up on the enforced slave trade... #problemsolved #wibe 2012-09-15 17:11:01
see tweet @an0key Ah, I hated the commute to Hounslow, on the Heathrow line. The Picc & Victoria lines need luggage racks. #wibe 2012-08-23 15:05:10
see tweet @coldclimate And how much cash has been wasted on #PornTrial. The individuals responsible for t'action'd pay it back at their expense #wibe 2012-08-03 15:30:54
see tweet @edent #wibe... 2012-05-23 09:32:18
see tweet i fuckin hate silent trains! announce the fucking stop it's not difficult #wibe 2012-05-17 22:32:30
see tweet #wibe CAEK will not be taxed. Nor will tampons (I still find that disgraceful, or (w|h)as *that* finally changed with all the Blair Babes?) 2012-05-04 13:01:40
see tweet #wibe I shall repeal all taxation laws and start from scratch, making it a series of tables/whatif statements. That will be it. 2012-05-04 13:00:22
see tweet "Aitch", not "hatech". #wibe ... 2012-04-12 09:28:31
see tweet gah, auto-fucking-playing videos. I'd not expect that from @bbc . #hatehatehate They'd be outlawed #wibe 2012-04-07 16:42:45
see tweet #wibe buses will interact with trains. if station route bus is late, train will wait for bus. we will have cheap, efficient public transport 2012-03-27 10:30:13
see tweet #wibe, train stations which can get to/from london within 2hrs, shall accept Oyster cards 2012-03-25 12:25:48
see tweet #WIBE Forms MUST be properly created and tested. None of this "let the typists create the fucking thing" lark. #alwaysinthebrowser 2012-02-26 18:01:23
see tweet modesty. not talking (loudly) on trains #wibe 2012-02-22 10:50:31
see tweet idea: national rail updates -> trains on some sort of tablet? #wibe 2012-02-02 13:40:59
see tweet RT @nevali: Campaign for dedicated phone booths in offices is begin here! #wibe 2012-01-23 19:32:40
see tweet oooh. forgot. #wibe all train stations after 10pm shall have KFC provisions, and queues based on train departure times :-) 2012-01-19 23:11:30
see tweet @williamheath Those not concerning security, but dubbed thus irritate me, more than the others. And the lying ones. Ditch 'em all #wibe 2012-01-12 15:22:01
see tweet #wibe Ministers making statements outside of 'Parliament' will automatically cease being a Minister. 2012-01-11 14:44:58
see tweet @leashless everyone should watch 'The Battleship Potemkin' #wibe 2012-01-03 02:48:18
see tweet i'd spend less on pointless databases/IT projects & bribing voters, and more on transport, #wibe 2011-12-20 10:29:36
see tweet @bengoldacre You can have a post in my cabal, #wibe 2011-12-20 00:45:01
see tweet @dominiccampbell #wibe... 2011-12-15 23:14:04
see tweet #WIBE Civil Rights will be on the agenda, and fixing causes. Crime and Rehabilitation (fitting the 'offence'). Spending on society not gaols 2011-12-12 15:12:22
see tweet train engineers. you know when trains come in? have a cup of tea to let people escape platform before moving things, yes? #wibe 2011-11-20 10:00:02
see tweet Look, for getting rid of Uddin and the other crooks in/out of the Lords, it's simple: an Attainder will do #adamsolveseverything #wibe 2011-11-14 15:38:19
see tweet really should write a draft of my Responsibility for Actions (Public Officials) Bill #wibe 2011-10-20 10:29:01
see tweet #wibe signaling problems shall be overcome by using flags and loud clear voices/radios. 2011-10-20 10:15:13
see tweet @dominiccampbell @gabysslave vote? What's wrong with a good old fashioned coup? #wibe 2011-10-11 18:50:56
see tweet non-geographical numbers. they'd go #wibe. or telcos will be mandated not to charge/unified. 2011-09-27 20:40:47
see tweet #wibe discourteous cunts will be horsewhipped until they gain courtesy. Also trains will have wider seats and more... http://t.co/b435mvYw 2011-09-15 08:58:19
see tweet rah. it appears southeastern are painting stations in their hideous new livery. this is usually the point close to #franchise losing. #wibe 2011-09-13 07:55:50
see tweet ticket office man, when asked the price of a ticket responded "a fortune at the moment". i laughed. so very true #wibe 2011-09-09 08:09:15
see tweet #wibe people will not stand in doorways 2011-09-08 09:29:55
see tweet #wibe ticket barriers will be burnt. we shall presume fare-payment/poverty and have compassionate human staff on hand 2011-09-08 09:29:53
see tweet @thegareth See, that's the trouble with elections... #pigsinprams #wibe 2011-09-07 22:06:39
see tweet @Teemobox you've seen me use the #WIBE hashtag, right? #whenibecomeemperor … 2011-08-31 21:53:32
see tweet there really are some fucking discourteous cunts on the trains this morning. no idea of queuing. i'd sort that #whenibecomeemperor 2011-08-18 09:21:13
see tweet delays at london bridge. earlier problems at Dartford. #wibe these will be resolved superfast 2011-06-27 14:46:01
see tweet @jkerrstevens it sucks a bit. i remember it took more than cancelling the direct debit too. ugh. hateful complications #wibe 2011-06-24 08:13:31
see tweet ukba seem to think 'indiviual' is an acceptable term for the people (souls) they interact with. disgraceful. #wibe they'd go. 2011-06-22 09:10:02
see tweet @Documentally that madness really does need to end. #wibe 2011-06-22 08:54:02
see tweet why are there so many road users at 01:20 in london? #comeonbus #wibe 2011-06-19 00:23:13
see tweet RT @_SouthEastern: RT @adamamyl ah. tea. so very wonderful. unlike #southeastern, #nationalrail, and #tfl... #wibe 2011-06-18 08:04:13
see tweet ah. tea. so very wonderful. unlike #southeastern, #nationalrail, and #tfl... #wibe 2011-06-18 07:01:33
see tweet @hubmum indeed. #whenibecomeemperor. 2011-06-09 23:00:33
see tweet #whenibecomeemperor all trains will declare in text and voice which fucking stop it is. #grrrrrrr #uktrain 2011-06-06 20:24:47
see tweet London zoo advertising pre-made picnics? they'd be outlawed #whenibecomeemperor http://4sq.com/mpoSwH 2011-05-12 09:26:29
see tweet the 'customer [sic] lounge' is what I call a waiting room. #whenibecomeemperor http://4sq.com/lhKjy7 2011-05-06 13:43:52